mandatory-explanatory

I detest it when you try to explain yourself and nobody listens. You must have a point to prove in allowance to explaning yourself. Sometimes I just wanna explain how i'm feeling cause its bothering me, not to prove some shitty point. There are reasons why we feel terrible and in this particular case, your actions are the problem.

Just to remind you, all actions have concequences. You took the risk to burn it all and i took the risk to try and mend it back. You are doing your part. I honestly appreciate that. But once things go wrong the first time, you start to take precaution, you start to look out for yourself. I'm paying the price. The price you labeled. I'm not trying to make you feel bad but at least try to emphatize with me instead of saying, "Soooo. what's the point of this?" Have you ever considered how much it bugs me? Knowing that the trust i have in you isn't too in depth it makes it hard for me as well? Not everything revolves around you. I know my ramblings give you a hard time as well but i believe we're both part of this and we should try to at least resolve it even if its for the meanwhile. It's tedious having to explain myself time and time again. It's stupid to keep saying the same thing as if you haven't heard it over a thousand times already. But if it is so painful for you to bear, don't stay. I've never pinned you down on your knees threatening you to stay. You made choices that impacted you life before, so go ahead and take the wheel. Drive away if you want to. I'm not going to stop you cause i feel that you're given a choice in how much you want to tolerate.

I've tried to walk away so many times but you make me stay. I appreciate it, i don't dread it and no you're not forcing me. But sometimes just listen to me. Try to understand how tough it is on my part. Its easy for you to bury the hachet cause how has it hurt you? How has it affected you? Ask yourself that. Well for me, it taught me never to give your heart fully to someone you think you know, never to judge things from the surface and never to entrust all your trust in someone.


You did it. You listen to it.
I thought everything was good. I went through it. I'm living with it.

I made the choice.
However, am i not allowed to feel even a little dismay?
Whose calling permissions? Not you, not me.
So whose to restrict me? If you don't want to listen to me, don't alright.
Cause i'm prepared to make all ears and eyes bleed.
I'm not calling on whose blames or woes are heavier. I just want you to try and be me. Even for 1 second. Which we all know, its clearly impossible.
Sigh.